Hanging Shadow
by goblz
Summary: Dan's thoughts and feelings after saving Lucas in the accident.


** A/N: Dan's reaction to the car accident and to Karen's thank you hug interested me _SO_ much. I had to write this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of One Tree Hill. I do not own most of the dialogue in this story either. Most of the dialogue comes from the episodes Hanging by a Moment, I Shall Believe, and  The First Cut is the Deepest. The only dialogue that does belong to me is between Dan, Keith, and a nurse in the ER.**

**Hanging Shadow**

"You're his legal guardian?"

Dan Scott hesitated at this question, knowing he had to answer fast. He wasn't the boy's legal guardian, but Karen wasn't here and didn't even know yet about the accident. He looked down at the unconscious bloodied teenager, knowing that his answer could be the deciding factor between life and death.

"He's my son," Dan answered, looking back at the doctor who'd asked the question. As Lucas Scott was rushed down the hospital corridor to an ER trauma room, his father found himself staring after the boy, worry in every line of his face. Dan had admitted out loud for the first time that Lucas was his son. Now that the words had come out of his mouth, a wave of emotion he had successfully suppressed for years forced itself to the surface. Lucas was his firstborn son, and nothing was ever going to change that. He had spent years ignoring the kid, denying the truth of Lucas' heritage but the facts would never change.

"Where's Lucas?" a demanding voice caught Dan's attention and he raced to his older brother as Keith Scott was helped into a chair by a nurse.

"The doctors are with him," Dan explained. "Don't worry, it'll be okay."His voice sounded calm but he felt anything but calm. Lucas was in bad shape; when Dan had searched for his pulse at the crash site, he had barely felt one. The doctor already knew that Lucas needed surgery. Things were bad, and even though Dan didn't want to admit it, he was terrified that Lucas was going to die.

"Okay," the nurse said as she handed Keith a clipboard of forms. "Just fill these out and a doctor will see you shortly."

"Oh, come on, can't you just get him in right now?" Dan yelled. "He can fill that stuff out later!"

"Sir, I know that you are concerned about your brother but this is procedure. He does not require immediate attention."

Dan was about to protest further but another nurse, one who had taken Lucas to a trauma room, approached. "We're going to need you to sign consent forms for your son's surgery," she explained. "We need to get him to the OR as soon as possible."

Dan nodded, ignoring the shocked look on his brother's face, and quickly signed the consent forms for Lucas' surgery. As he did so, Keith stood up and went to the phone. Dan knew he was calling the airport to reach Karen, Lucas' mother. When Keith was off the phone, Dan had filled out his papers as well so that Keith would be seen immediately.

"You'll be okay Keith," Dan said, patting his older brother's shoulder as Keith followed the nurse. Once the older Scott brother had disappeared from view, Dan headed for the hospital doors, where his car was still running just outside. Even though he wanted to stay and make sure that Lucas made it out of surgery, he knew that it was not his place to. Karen was on her way and she would not appreciate his presence. And Keith was Lucas' father in every way but one. Fighting against instinct, Dan walked out of the hospital and drove away.

Dan spent most of the next day at his car dealership. Thoughts of his family consumed him. Lucas had made it out of surgery but was still unconscious; he had called the hospital a couple of times, never leaving his name, to check on the teen's condition. The accident was making him rethink his marriage and divorce. He loved Deb, and she knew that. They had almost gotten to a point of reconciliation the night before, but Deb hadn't believed that he had no intentions of cheating on her with Carrie. They were supposed to meet with a mediator that afternoon, but Dan was not going. He didn't want a divorce and he didn't want to do battle with Deb over their son, Nathan. Things would get ugly. Dan had the perfect strategy to get Nathan, if it came down to that. He only hoped it wouldn't because it meant going to extremes and hurting both Deb and Nathan. But if Deb refused to cooperate with him then he would be forced to pulled out the big guns. He might be forced to lose Deb, but he would not lose Nathan.

So he hadn't been a perfect parent in raising Nathan. Dan hadn't gotten the basketball career he'd wanted since he was five years old, and he really wanted Nathan to have that chance. He knew that on more than one occasion he had gone too far. But Nathan needed to know how take things as a man—how to be strong and independent. And when Nathan became that man, he would have his father to thank.

His thoughts drifted once more to his older son Lucas. Immediately cursing himself for thinking of Lucas as his oldest son, Dan wanted to kick himself. Lucas was _not_ his son—he'd only said that because Lucas needed surgery. Dan thought about calling the hospital again but decided against it. He had to get out of this train of thought that had come at the hospital the previous night. 

He remembered the analogy he had given Coach Whitey; he'd dad to cut off a part of himself to survive, just like the hiker in Boulder had. He'd almost let that part of himself grow back in his worries over Lucas' life. It was only natural to be worried, Dan reasoned with himself. After all, Lucas was only sixteen. No one wanted to see a sixteen year old kid die in a tragic accident. Even as he thought that, he knew it sounded phony.

When Nathan had been in the hospital, Dan hadn't left his side until Nathan woke up; he could not and would not do that for Lucas.He'd made up his mind years ago to have no role in the boy's life. Never had he even acknowledged Lucas as his son until necessity called for it. His relationships with his sons were completely different. He'd always been there for Nathan but he had no relationship with Lucas. That was how it was supposed to be.

That last thought was what got him through the rest of afternoon and into the evening. At nearly seven he was feeling much more like himself than he had all day. He felt quite sure of himself when a beautiful brunette woman walked into his dealership. She looked mildly interested in the red car by his office door, and he felt confident he could get her to buy it.

"That car's perfect for you," he told her as he came out of his office. She turned and asked him shyly how so. "Slick lines, smooth styling. Dan Scott." He offered his hand in greeting, which she took and introduced herself and his wife's new lawyer. So Deb was determined to go through with the divorce, even though she knew what it could cost her. She was calling his bluff. She was testing the wrong man.

Dan's mood dropped a bit after that, realizing he was being forced to give up on his marriage. He decided he would not make things easy for Deb and he would show her just how far he was willing to go to get what he wanted.

At quarter after ten that evening, less than an hour before Dan usually headed home, he looked up to see Karen walk through the far entrance of the building. What was she doing here?

Their eyes met and she started to approach him so he came out of his office, putting his palms up to try to keep her rage down. "They handed me the consent forms, he needed surgery. You have a right to be upset, but—"

Karen cut him off with a tight embrace, which was just about the last thing he had expected. In that moment so many thought raced through his mind that he almost felt dizzy. Why was she hugging him? They hadn't been so close since their high school days and it felt highly surreal. Had she come to tell him that Lucas was dead? His heart nearly stopped at that thought. Why else wouldn't she be at the hospital? Why else would she be here hugging him?

They pulled back from each other, and Dan looked at Karen intensely, waiting for her to speak. The expression on her face was unreadable. "Thank you," she said simply.

Lucas was alive. And because Karen was here thanking Dan, their son was probably awake. Dan merely nodded, prompting his ex-girlfriend to leave. And he just stood there, stunned. The relief washing over his heart was immense. Lucas was alive and awake. And now the only time Dan would ever act as his father was officially over. That was the one shadow hanging over him that night when he went to bed.

****

Dan didn't see Lucas again for over almost two weeks; not until the teenager was back in school. Nathan had left his bag on the driveway that morning and so Dan was bringing it to him. As he was walking into the gym, Lucas was on his way out. Dan halted momentarily in the doorway, surprised to see that Lucas was at practice. The kid had spent four days in the hospital but had only gotten out a week ago. He had expected that Lucas would need more time to recover from his injuries than a week. 

Lucas looked good. His facial color was normal, and the cuts and bruising on Lucas' cheek had healed nicely. Except for the sling that he wore, Dan wouldn't have been able to tell merely by looking that Lucas had come so close to death two weeks previous.

"I didn't expect to see you back in the gym so soon," Dan commented, trying to be civil. He didn't know why but being in Lucas' presence seemed to bring out the worst in him, and he wanted to keep himself in check.

"I'll bet," Lucas snapped. The sneer on his face told his father that he wanted nothing to do with this conversation. Dan couldn't really blame him, but he was determined to keep things civil, so he held open the door for Lucas to walk through.

"Here."

"No, I can get my own door," Lucas said, rejecting the offer. 

"Fine," Dan replied as closed the door and walked past the blond. "You're welcome." 

"I'm welcome?"

"Yeah, for the whole rescue thing. Don't sweat it." He knew this jab would anger Lucas but for some reason he just didn't care. Being a jerk to Lucas seemed to come naturally, but then again, Lucas had an uncanny way of grating on his nerves.

"If you think I owe you a thank you, you've gotta be kidding me."

This kid is incredibly ungrateful, Dan thought, becoming upset because he knew that Lucas had every right to be upset with him. He didn't even know why Lucas could get to him the way he did; it wasn't a rational annoyance. Dan refused to think too hard about it because he wasn't sure he would like the answer. 

Dan was just lucky that he was so good at covering up his emotions so that no one could see them. He had wanted to at least reach a truce with Lucas, but it was clear that Lucas didn't want the same. It was probably for the best, because coming to a truce would mean having to admit that Lucas was his son; it would require admitting that he had made mistakes in the past. Dan Scott did not make mistakes. He could never give Lucas what he wanted.

One of the harshest truths of Dan Scott's life was that no one lied to him better than himself.

**The End**


End file.
